My TOY Story

             When I heard the words “You are going to be Teacher of the Year”, I laughed out loud and shook my head. When it actually happened, I was shocked. But, when I found out I had to write my story, I considered declining the honor. Not because I didn’t want to take the time to write it, but because my story is like no other. I have wrestled with how much to tell and how much to gloss over because once my story is out, I can’t reel it back in. However, I decided that miracles aren’t miracles unless they are shared, and my story is nothing less than miraculous. You see, I was an eighth grade dropout and pregnant before I was old enough to drive. It is by the grace of God, that I am what I am, and I made it!

             As a child, I always said that I wanted to be a teacher. For the most part, school was my safe place. It was the only place that I was nurtured, and the only place I could smile, laugh and be myself because I was not welcomed in my own home.

            Education was not valued in my family and eighth grade was the cut-off point. I grew up in poverty, surrounded by divorce and alcoholism. My grandfather believed work was more important than school and as soon as I was old enough, I would be put to work to pay back what had been invested in me. Upon learning that I was pregnant, my grandfather signed away his obligation to me by giving his permission for me to get married.

            In hindsight, if it weren’t for my grandfather’s decision to release me, I would not be where I am today. He stepped out of my life and my husband’s parents stepped in. Although they were uneducated and didn’t speak a word of English, they had high expectations for their children, and I was no exception. My mother-in-law encouraged me to get my GED and my father-in-law taught me to drive. He coached me through three attempts to pass the driving test so I could get my license. Surrounded by love and encouragement, I became a fluent Spanish speaker in two years’ time, and I taught myself to read and write my second language.

            All along the way, it seems that someone was always watching over me and moving me in all the right directions. The dream of someday becoming a teacher never left my heart, but with only a GED, an aide position was the best I could do. I realize now that I was a teacher in training the whole time. I was entrusted with duties, responsibilities and opportunities that others were not offered.  

            Over the years, my co-workers and supervisors encouraged me to go to college. When asked what was holding me back, I was ashamed to admit that I was an 8^th grade dropout. However, I finally revealed the real reason for not pursuing college to one particular teacher. My secret did not change her opinion of me. In fact, she dug in her heels and worked harder to convince me that I could do it. Finally, going out of her way, she presented me with brochures from two local universities, all the necessary documents for enrollment and a degree plan! I started the following summer and four years later, at the age of 38, I graduated Magna Cum Laude on my 24^th wedding anniversary!

My first teaching position was as an elementary ESL teacher. I was so excited to finally have a classroom. I giggled with anticipation, as I turned my shiny, new key in the lock and pulled open the heavy, metal door to my classroom. The stale, warm air of the humble, “doublewide trailer” greeted me and welcomed me home. This was my first classroom, and it would become my home away from home for the next two years. To someone else, the portable might have been a disappointment, but to me it was beautiful because it was my dream come true.  

Luckily all the years and experiences as an instructional aide had prepared me for my first year in the classroom. Even though I was technically a “rookie”, I never experienced the broad range of emotions and self-doubt that most first year teachers experience.  From the moment I unlocked the door on that momentous day in 1999, I knew how to coax my students into giving me their best, how to manage a classroom and how to utilize the talents of my assistant. My first five years of teaching were a breeze!           

In my mind, to be a teacher is to be a champion for those who don’t know how to be champions for themselves. As a teacher, I have strived to provide a caring, nurturing environment built on a foundation of trust. I want my students and their families to feel safe, respected, valued and welcomed in my classroom.  

Although I believe every child can learn, many times learning can be delayed by circumstances beyond the child’s control, resulting in avoidance tactics and behavioral issues. I firmly believe in teaching the whole child: body, mind and soul. However, there have been several instances where gaining access to the whole child, means reaching out to the parent first.

One such instance came when one of my 4th grade ESL students, repeatedly failed to return forms that required a parent’s signature. After meeting and translating for his mother during a parent conference, the classroom teacher asked me to stress the importance of returning signed papers that were sent home. The child’s mother informed us that she always signed and returned forms. She then said, “I am always so embarrassed that I don’t have a real signature. I can barely print my name. My son can write better than I can! I would give anything to be able to have a pretty signature!”  It was then that I realized that this student wasn’t turning in signed papers because he too was embarrassed and ashamed that his mother couldn’t write her name.

After the meeting, I offered to help her develop her signature. While working with her, I discovered she was also trying to get her driver’s license. She had already taken the written portion in Spanish and had passed the test. However, she still needed to take the road test, but was terrified of driving and her husband had given up trying to teach her how to drive. Knowing how impatient husbands can be, I decided to help her overcome her fears so that she could get her license. First we practiced road rules with little toy cars. Then she watched me drive and finally I put her behind the wheel of my car. After only two attempts, she earned her driver’s license and proudly signed it with flourish!

On another occasion, I had another opportunity to reach out to the parent for the child's sake. I was working on report cards when a familiar face peeked through my door and said, “Miss, are you busy?” I looked up to see my new ESL student  standing in the door way. I said, “Hi sweetie, what’s up? Do you need help with something?” When she walked up to my desk, I could see tears welling up in her eyes, and when she spoke, she said the last thing I expected to hear. She answered my question with a question of her own. She said, “Miss, do you know how to pray?” I was dumb founded! I knew what I was supposed to say, but my heart wanted to respond, “Yes, I do!” When I finally found my voice, I followed my heart, held out my hands and said, “Yes, as a matter of fact I do.” As soon as our hands touched, she immediately started crying and said, “My mom is dying. She has diabetes really bad! She’s going blind and almost completely deaf, her blood sugar is really high and won't go down and she’s very sick! I’m scared that she’s gonna die this time!”

In one fell swoop, she explained everything that a ream’s worth of documents in her cum folder could not. Fear of losing her mother outweighed  learning to write complete sentences, memorizing the steps of long division or passing the state standardized test! I followed my heart and prayed for this child’s mother.

As reluctant as I was to share my story, much to my surprise, my essays passed through to the final rounds, and I was selected as one of the five finalists for District Teacher of the Year! After such a long arduous journey to get to where I am, it was absolutely amazing to be distinguished as one of the top five teachers out of over 4000 educators in my district.

Yes! I am a champion for my students! I teach the whole child: Body, Mind and Soul!
                                                  Prayer
Father God, I thank you for the plans you made for me and for sending people to guide and direct me in the way you desired me to go. Father you gave me the desires of my heart and more than I could ever ask or think of. Father, what you have done for me, you will do for the one reading this testimony today. Father, touch his/her heart and stir up his/her gifts and talents and awaken the dream that is yet to be fulfilled. Show him/her that it is never too late and that there is no problem or circumstance that is too difficult for you to turn around. In Jesus name. Amen!

The Matrix Move Is NOT Real

       

Although I was a teaching assistant for twelve years and had already been a certified teacher for 5 years, I was by no means a rookie! But my first day in my new assignment as a Pre-K teacher was a fiasco! First of all, I wore a dress! Now when new Pre-K teachers come to me for advice, the first thing I say is, “DO NOT wear a dress on your first day! Dress professionally but dress comfortably and wear closed toe shoes!”

With my assistant Maria at my side, we embarked on our newest adventure as educators. Our Pre-K classroom was far less than perfect. Someone in admin dropped the ball and we didn’t have the furniture or supplies we were promised for our new program. Maria and I set the room up as best we could without a stick of furniture...it finally came 8 weeks later! We had paper and crayon boxes laid out in one area, a few toys in another area, and Maria was sitting in the blue rocking chair waiting to read a book in the library corner.

         We greeted the students and parents in the hallway and led them to the room. Everyone entered and everything was fine. Some of the kids went to the paper and crayon boxes and began to explore, others went to the pile of toys and began to explore, but NOBODY was interested in listening to a story. Parents were taking pictures and filming their children's first day of school.

          I was standing around in my pretty dress trying to look calm, cool and collected. Just as I was getting ready to announce that it was time for the parents to leave, another mom came through the door with her twin boys attached to each of her legs, and they were screaming their heads off! Everyone turned to look at them and then every little boy in the room began crying and running to their parents. But for some reason, all the little girls stayed put and never cried. Actually they looked on in disgust as they watched all the handsome little boys act like babies.

         I went to the mom with the screaming twins and told her to take them to the back of the room and hand them over to my assistant, and then leave the room as fast as she could. She did and of course the twins took off running after her. We tried to block them, distract them, hold them, etc! But those little twins turned into Tasmanian devils....they started picking up toys, papers and crayon boxes and began throwing them at everybody. I tried to rush the parents out of the room, but some just wouldn't leave. We had the remaining parents stand in front of the door. I figured if they were going to stay and gawk then they were going to help!

        Remembering my one day of training, for just such an occasion as this, I knelt down and put myself at eye level with one of the screaming twins. I spoke to him in a soft, calm voice and touched his arm very gently. Well he was having none of that! The next thing I knew, a tiny little fist was coming right at my face. I leaned back in the "Matrix" move...but unlike the slow motion floating effect...I fell flat on my back with my legs under me ( mind you I am wearing my pretty dress) and I hit my head on the floor! I have no idea what happened to the screaming twin and honestly I DID NOT care! My ears were ringing and my big toe felt like someone hit it with a hammer!

         When I finally opened my eyes...there was a dad standing over me with a video camera in my face saying, "... and this is Mrs. Hernandez, Jordan's very first teacher..." All I could think of was, "Oh my God! This is going to end up on America's Funniest Home Videos!"

         Finally everybody left and we somehow got the kids calmed down...even the screaming twins...although they sat in a corner with their arms and legs wrapped around each other like little koala bears. We let them be! They spent their first day in Pre-K watching from their little spot in the room. More importantly, they were not screaming or throwing anything.

         By end of the day, my assistant, Maria and I were exhausted! But we learned from the mistakes we made with the morning class. We were smarter and better prepared for the second class and had very few issues. We revisited our plans and tweaked a few procedures and we would see if things would go smoother the next day.

         I suddenly realized my toe was killing me! I looked down at my newly pedicured and fashionably sandaled feet, and to my horror, I saw that the toenail on my left big toe had broken off about mid way! The more I stared at it the more it throbbed! My poor toe was sore for the next few days!!!

        The next day we were prepared for the screaming twins. But to our surprise, the twins arrived without a single tear, walked right up to me and said in unison, "Good morning teacher!" as if yesterday had never happened! It was smooth sailing for the rest of the year!

The furniture finally arrived and we had a fabulous classroom with everything we needed. Since then we have changed classrooms several times and each time it gets better and better. I have 5 years of Pre-K experience under my belt now, and I never wear dresses on the first day of school…I save them for special occasions!  Every year Maria and I learn a few more do's and don'ts and every year there is at least one new embarrassing incident that we laugh about later. But I can't think of any grade level that is more fun or rewarding!

Oh and by the way, in case you don’t already know this, the “Matrix” move is NOT real…it is a special effect…wish I had known that when I tried it!!! LOL!

Pull Back the Veil

         
         My first year as a teacher, I had a wonderful assistant named Christy. She and I hit it off as soon as we met and became fast friends. But there was always something about Christy that struck a familiar, yet comforting cord with me that I couldn’t quite put my finger on...a look, a subtle gesture, some little something. I had no idea what it was or the profound effect it would have on me in the days to come!

A couple of weeks into the school year, while we were talking, Christy was giggling uncontrollably about something I had said, and she casually tossed her long, black hair over her shoulder with her hand. With that one simple gesture, a wave of recognition and then grief hit me …suddenly I wasn’t seeing Christy anymore…instead I was seeing my long, lost childhood friend…Vena.  In one brief moment with that simple little gesture, it was as if Vena’s bubbly, fun loving personality filled the room.

Like Christy, Vena had beautiful, thick, black hair, and she had a way of tossing it over her shoulder when she laughed. She had a unique little giggle that will forever remain etched in my memory. I stopped in mid sentence when I heard that giggle come from Christy! It left me speechless and brought me to tears. I could feel my chin begin to quiver…and before long, I knew I would be a sobbing mess!

I barely knew Christy, and I didn’t want her to think I was crazy! I didn’t know what else to do so I just shut down and turned my back on her so I could pull myself together. The resemblance was so strong; I couldn’t even look at her for a couple of days!  Of course, I knew it wasn’t Vena or anything weird like that…it’s just that I finally realized what I couldn’t put my finger on before…Vena and Christy were very much alike in many ways!  

Because Vena died a few years earlier, I was feeling the loss more strongly now that I had fulfilled my dream of becoming a teacher, and knowing she never had the chance to fulfill hers. She had been on my mind constantly, and I was missing her more than usual! I finally told Christy how much she reminded me of my childhood friend …so much so that it was almost unsettling. And then I told her the story that I hadn’t shared with anyone else…I told her about my last day with my friend and how God had done the impossible…

Growing up, Vena and I were inseparable, and we always laughed and talked until our cheeks hurt. Our passion was Barbie dolls and we each had a collection of Barbies complete with pink wardrobe cases full of clothes that we shared and traded. Her family moved around quite a bit, but they always came back, and we happily picked up right where we left off, as if she had never left. But as we grew up and went our separate ways as young adults, we lost contact… until I received a phone call some 16 years later.

My mother called one day to tell me that Vena had undergone radical brain surgery to remove a large tumor and was now a permanent resident in a nursing home somewhere in Dallas. The implications of a 33 year old woman needing to live in a nursing home after brain surgery were unfathomable.

Although it would be like finding a needle in a haystack, knowing that she was SOMEWHERE in Dallas gave me hope. But this was an impossible task and I needed a miracle if I was going to find her. Two of my favorite scriptures came to mind, Jeremiah 33:3 “Call to me and I will answer you and tell you great and mighty things you do not know.” and Mark 10:27 “All things are possible with God.” So I dried my tears, presented myself before His Throne of Grace and called on MY GOD to help me find my friend. I was depending on Him to make the impossible possible!

Armed with the Dallas Yellow Pages, which were at least 4 inches thick, I immediately began my tedious search by calling nursing homes, one by one and page by page. I had very little to go on, but I repeated the same story call after call…  “I just learned that my childhood friend is in a nursing home somewhere here in the Dallas area, and I am trying to find her. Her name is Vena and, she is a she’s 33 year old Native American woman with severe brain trauma. Do you have a patient that fits this description?”

Most responses were sympathetic and simply said no we don’t have any patients that young. Others were very discouraging. I was told that since I was not family, they could not give me any information without knowing her social security number and date of birth. But I did not give up! I continued calling. Then one day about two weeks into my search, someone suggested that I contact the Indian Tribal Council… I did and within minutes, I received a call from one of Vena’s sisters! As it turned out, Vena was just 25 miles down the road from where I lived!

The next day, with my husband and our 3-year-old daughter at my side, I stood at the nurse’s desk and was informed that Vena would be unresponsive and she wouldn’t even know that I was there. Tears began to sting my eyes as images of us sitting under the shade tree in my front yard played in my mind. Gone were the carefree days of sipping ice cold Coka Cola and playing Barbie dolls on hot summer days.

With our daughter on his hip, my husband and I walked down the long corridor. We passed elderly patients watching television, sleeping or rolling along in wheel chairs. It saddened me to know that despite her young age, Vena could no longer do any of those things.  As we neared her room, I thanked for God hearing my prayer and for making a way out of no way! Despite all the obstacles and lack of information, He led me straight to her!

As we stood outside her door, I prepared myself for what I was about to see. Right before I stepped into her room, I heard “Pull back the veil" in the now familiar still, small voice. I laughed to myself as I thought, “What a strange thing to say…but okay.”  I looked straight at my husband as I prayed, “Lord, I don’t know what it means but, please pull back the veil.”

My husband stood and watched from the doorway with our daughter. As I walked into the room, Vena was sitting in a wheel chair in the middle of the room. As I knelt in front of her, I began to search her face, but the beautiful, vibrant girl I once knew was not there. I did not recognize this poor woman. Her once long, beautiful, black hair was mostly gone. Her head was misshapen and scared from the surgery that took away her memories and cognitive abilities.

But I wasn’t here to pity and gawk at some poor unfortunate stranger. This was my long, lost childhood friend. We had a lot of catching up to do. So I began talking to her and I told her all the things I had saved in my heart over the years. I touched her arm in that familiar way friends do as I talked to her. I noticed her hands were a little dry and seeing a bottle of hand lotion on her night stand, I grabbed it and began to rub lotion onto her hands as I told her how the Lord had helped me find her.

Her head was tilted to one side and her eyes were half open, but they were dull and lifeless. I kept talking… hoping that she could hear my voice and for at least a little while forget where she was. At some point, my conversation turned into prayer. I watched my friend’s face as I prayed, and the words from an old hymn came to mind, “…like a bird from these prison walls I’ll fly… I’ll fly away” and I prayed, “Lord have mercy on this little bird, release her from her prison walls and let her fly away to glory. Help her to mount up on eagles’ wings and fly away from this misery. Let her not linger here shackled to this body. Let her spirit fly home to be with you.”

As I was praying, I saw tears welling up in her eyes and I watched the tears as they slowly rolled down her cheeks, as if the words had touched her. I was hoping it meant that her spirit could hear me so I closed my eyes and continued to pray. At one point I opened my eyes and looked at her and to my surprise, she had the sweetest expression on her face. Her eyes had a glimmer of life in them…they were no longer dull! I was content with that. I felt that at least I had touched her spirit enough that it put a sparkle in her eyes. But then… she very softly spoke my name! I was stunned into silence. I stared at her in shock but then quickly dismissed it. I convinced myself that I heard her speak only because I want it so badly. And then… she spoke again very slowly and softly and this time I saw her lips move! She said, “I like your jacket.” With a little stronger voice, she then asked, "Where is Nita & Patty?" and “Do you still have our Barbies?”

By this time, I had tears streaming down my face and I could hardly speak! Then I remembered the words “Pull back the veil” and now… I had full understanding of their meaning! After a little bit, I could sense her spirit fading, so I asked her if she knew Jesus and she very slowly nodded her head. I went ahead and prayed the sinners’ prayer for her and then I began to thank the Lord for pulling back the veil. He not only helped me find her, he also brought us back together one last time and gave her the ability to speak! We picked up right where we left off, just like when we were little girls! By the time I said “Amen”, she had disappeared behind the veil again. I held her hands and cried as I sat there with her for a little while longer, and there was an overwhelming sense of peace in the room that hadn’t been there when I came in.

Before leaving the nursing home, I told the staff that she had spoken and they of course didn’t believe me. I said, “Well, whether you believe me or not, and whether she did or she didn’t, you need to speak to her, care for her and handle her as if she can.” I learned later that my best friend passed away a few weeks after our visit. Vena and I always had a strong heart connection and I truly believe that she had been asking God to help me find her, and I believe she waited for me so that we could have our last goodbye.

After I told Christy the story about Vena and how much she reminded me of her, we grew even closer. Christy became the friend and companion Vena would have been if she had lived. We developed the same heart connection that Vena and I had…the kind that time, distance and death cannot break.

                                            Prayer

Father God, thank you for being a waymaker. Your Word says,"Seek and you shall find. Call to me and I will listen. Pray to me and I will answer you." Father God, all things are possible with you. You go above and beyond anything we can ask or think. Father God, I lift up the reader at this moment, and I pray that this testimony will be a inspiration. I pray that my humble words will encourage the reader to trust you to make a way out of no way. My Lord, My God, I know without a shadow of doubt that you can do anything but fail! Father God, let your will be done in this reader's life today. In Jesus name I pray. Amen!