A 5-Year-Old's Perspective

with my youngest child’s 24^th birthday just around the corner, I have been having flashbacks of things she said and did when she was little. There were times that she cracked me up, but other times I just wanted to wring her neck! Let me tell you about one of those “wring your neck” moments.

At the time, I was a teacher’s aide and attending college part time to get my teaching degree. Melissa was five and a kindergarten student at the school where I worked. In those days, working full time and going to college part time, it seemed that all I did was rush, rush, rush! That morning we were running late, therefore I put the pedal to the metal so as not to be late for work. Well, as you know, there is never a good time to get pulled over for speeding!

We were making good time… until I saw flashing red lights in my rearview mirror! I pulled over, and got out all the necessary documents to present to the police officer. Meanwhile Melissa is very curious as to why we have suddenly stopped, when we need to be at school! While the officer takes his sweet time stepping up to the car, our conversation goes like this…

Melissa: “Mama, why did you stop?”

Me: “A police officer flashed his lights and I had to stop.”

Melissa: “Uh oh! Are we going to jail Mama?”

Me: “No. I was speeding. I will get a ticket, and we can’t tell Daddy… okay?”

Melissa: “Okay! Can I tell him about the lights?”

All I could do was shake my head as I watched the officer approaching the car in my side mirror, and I noticed that I had been stopped by a rather large, uniformed cowboy… it was the Constable!  He stepped up to the window, and as he peered in and tipped his cowboy hat at us, I heard a little giggle next to me. You see, Melissa loved cowboys because her daddy wore a cowboy hat too! So this is how the conversation goes…

Constable: (in a thick Texas drawl) “Mornin’ ma’am. Why are you in such a hurry?”

Me: “I’m running late…just trying to get to work on time.”

Constable: “Well ma’am, that didn’t work out too well for you, now did it?”

Me: “No sir it didn’t.”

Constable: (pointing at Melissa, who is smiling from ear to ear) “Well now, who do we have here?”

Me: “This is my daughter Melissa.”

Melissa: “Hi! My name is Melissa! I am 5 years old and I am in kindergarten! What’s your name?”

Constable: “Well little lady, I am pleased to meetcha. My name is Constable Jones.”

Melissa: “Are you a Texan? Are you a real cowboy or a for fake cowboy like my daddy?”

Constable: “Yes, li’l missy, I am a Texas cowboy with horses and everythang. Now, I need to talk to your mama for a minute.”

Constable: “Ma’am, I’m gonna let you go with a warnin’ this mornin’, but you make sure you use your time wisely so you aren’t runnin’ late and risk getting’ yourself into an accident. We want to make sure li’l missy over there gets to grow up to be a fine young lady.”

Me: “Yes sir.”

Just as I am about to breathe a sigh of relief that I am getting a warning and not a ticket, li’l missy pipes up…

Melissa: “Sir, did you know my mama was drinkin’ and drivin’ too?”

OMG! I couldn’t believe my ears! I reached for the can of Dr. Pepper in the drink holder, held it up and pleaded, “Sir, it’s just soda! She got that from TV, but doesn’t know what it means!”

Constable: With a knowing grin he said, “Ma’am I’m gonna take your word for it. You have a good day now.” Then tipping his hat to Melissa he said, “Li’l missy, you take good care of your mama!”

Needless to say, we were late for school that day and Li’l Missy promptly told her daddy that I got a ticket!!!